Bowling and other nonsense


So I went to my local casino on Sunday night. I always go to the men’s room before I play cards so I won’t have to get up in the middle of a hot streak. I walk into the rest room and I see there are 5 guys lined up at the urinals. I can’t help but notice that the 75 year old guy in the middle has his sweatpants pulled down over his ass cheeks. I stop in my tracks and think “Aw, man, I gotta look at this?” My second thought is to get the photo. Then I think, “If I do, somebody is gonna freak out like “What the f**k are you doing, man?” So, I let if go but what a great photo it would have been….”Seen at the casino.”

My fellow cheapskates…you’ll be proud of me…..I needed cat food and didn’t have time to shop. I had a coupon for $1 off of 2 bags of Halls throat lozenges. I use those things to help my sinuses and also as breath mints. I went to Walgreen to get the Hall’s. They were on sale …..2 bags for $3….and they were the bags that have 40% more in them so with my coupon they were $1 per bag. Meow Mix….which my cats LOVE…. was on sale. Over 3 pounds for $4….regularly $7. So I got 2 of them. I know some of you probably get cat food for 50 cents a ton, but I was pretty happy with 2 bags of cat food and 2 bags of Halls for $10. Of course, then I went straight to the casino and my first bet was $20. I’m SO sick.

Great news !!!! I didn’t hurt my ass while bowling last night. I had strained a muscle in my left ass cheek every Tuesday for the past 3 weeks. Less great news….the scoring in this league is different then you may be used to.. You get a point (or game) for beating the guy you are bowling against, including handicap. Then, total points for the game , again including handicap, is worth 2 points. Then, in the 3rd game, it’s the same so 18 points is on the line for the night. (4 guys at 1 point each and 3 each of total pins at 2 points each game) and then the total pins of all 3 games, including handicap, is worth 3 points for a grand total of 21 points up for grabs. Read it a few times….it’ll come to you.

In the first game, I bowled terrible and each guy on my team got beat so we lost a total of 6 points. In the second game, I bowled poorly and I needed a spare….and I knew it….in the 10th frame to beat my guy. I got a baby split, the 3 – 10. He didn’t get a strike so I needed to make the spare. I was determined. I threw the ball right where I wanted and the ball actually hit both pins but it just barely grazed the 3 pin. The 3 pin wobbled but DIDN’T fall down. How the f**k can you make contact with a 2 pound pin with a 15 pound ball and not make it fall over? In any event, it didn’t fall over. My guy made the spare and he beat me by 2 lousy pins. Everybody else on my team won so we won 5 of 6 points. In the 3rd game, I bowled terrible and my guy beat the living sh*t out of me. We did win 4 of the 6 points in the 3rd game but lost the 3-point total pins overall. It was the first night of the 2nd quarter so we are 9 – 13. It’s not horrible but could have been better. Even though my average, before last night, has climbed to 150, I still have the honor of owning the lowest average of all of the regular bowlers in the league…including the women. Sooner or later, I’m gonna become half the bowler I used to be and my average is gonna be 170. By the way, I was looking around and I have to make some inquiries. I just might be the oldest person in the league.

I got a postcard from Delaware Park, my local casino, inviting me to play Bingo for free and I could win anywhere from $200 to $1000 in slot dollars so I went and played yesterday. There were about 300 people and I think I might have been the YOUNGEST person there. I could have taken 90% of them in arm wrestling but I couldn’t beat them at Bingo. Bastards !

Enjoy the day !!!!!


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