Random Thoughts, Volume 32

Barris

Random Thoughts, Volume 32
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1.  I like absurdity. In my local McDonald’s fast food place, a filet of fish sandwich costs $3.49. If you order it with a medium fries, though, the entire cost for both is only $3.00. Go figure.
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2.  Speaking of Mickey-D’s, here’s a stolen thought: Nobody really LIKES McDonald’s food. If you’re eating at McDonald’s, you’re either poor…….or you don’t care about your future. McDonald’s should change their slogan to……”Fuck tomorrow.”
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3.  I was watching TV at 12:30 AM on December 1st and a commercial came on letting me know that November had been “Native American History Month.” Did anybody else know this ? I certainly didn’t. It seems to me that Native Americans should own the calendar in the United States and they should have an “Everybody Else’s History Month.”
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4.  A friend of mine went to Iceland and did all of the touristy stuff. It sounds like she and her family had a good time and learned a lot of facts about Iceland. One of the facts is that there is a penis museum there. It’s a museum chock full of exhibits and facts regarding the penis. She said, “I could see penis salt & pepper shakers, penis sponges, t-shirts, and kilts with a penis hanging in front of it.”  I’m telling you….I don’t make this stuff up. I wonder if there is a vagina museum somewhere.
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 5. Tommy James sings “My baby does the Hanky-Panky” 23 times in that song. So said the guy on the radio right before he played the record. So, of course, I was forced, along with thousands of others, to count. He’s right. It’s 23 times. I’ve done the research so you don’t need to. You’re welcome.
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6.  Another music item: So I’m listening as I drive and a song that I like comes on. It’s Dire Straits “Money for Nothing.” It’s an oldie from 1985 and I got sick of it when it was popular but I hadn’t heard it for a while so I was listening with interest. It occurred to me, because I’m a lyrics guy, that there is an interesting stanza in the song and it goes like this:
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The little faggot with the earring and the makeup
Yeah buddy that’s his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot, he’s a millionaire
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I knew that the verse was coming up and I thought,”Man, they could never say that in this day and age. I’m not even sure a rapper could get away with that and those guys say the worst things that you can imagine.” I’m waiting and, when it comes time, they cut it. Yep. They cut out the whole stanza. I’m not taking a stance here. I just thought that it was an interesting observation about our current societal norms.
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7.  Chuck Barris died recently. Mr. Barris was famous for creating and producing a number of game shows on TV. He was best remembered, though, as the energetic and likable host of TV’s “The Gong Show.” The show was incredibly silly. Google it if you never saw it or heard about it. I think the show came along right at the time that the nation just NEEDED a bit of silliness. I know that I watched it religiously and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Actually, I laughed my ass off. The craziness always reached a pinnacle when the music started and it was time for “Gene, Gene The DANCIN’ MACHIIIIIINE!!!” If you ever saw the show, you know what I’m talking about. Sadly, everybody gets “gonged” eventually. Rest in peace, Mr. Barris.
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8.  Finally, with Chuck Berry perishing a couple of weeks ago and Chuck Barris dying a couple of days ago, somebody better check on Chuck Woolery. I’m just sayin. . . .
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That’s all I have for now. Please feel free to resume normal life. As usual, thanks for reading

 

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