Random Thoughts, Volume 28


Random Thoughts, Volume 28

1. There is a direct and measurable mathematical correlation between the time that you have available to reach a destination and the congestion and slowness of the traffic that you have to negotiate. If you are early by 10 or 15 minutes, there won’t be any traffic and you will catch every light green. If you are more than 5 minutes late…..well, you probably already know what happens.
2. Here’s a random thought about the National Basketball Association. The Los Angeles Lakers used to be a perennial winner and, for a time, had a dynasty going. In the 2013 – 2014 season, they won 27 games out of 81. In the 2014 – 2015 season, they won 21 games. They have won only 11 games out of 60 so far this season. They will miss the playoffs for the 3rd straight year for the first time in fanchise history. They are laughably horrible. The sad part is that only my Philadelphia 76ers are worse with a record of 8 – 58. To tell you the truth, I can not name one player on the 76ers roster. I have not watched one of their games. No….wait….the 76ers have a guy with the last name of Okafur. I know this because he got in a fistfight after a bar closed and it was on the news and he is under age 21. I think I remember that they had to give him a chaperone.
3. I belong to BJ’S Wholesale Club. If you don’t know, BJ’s is an American membership-only warehouse club chain operating on the United States East Coast, as well as in the state of Ohio. You pay an annual fee to be a member and they sell things in bulk, usually for pretty cheap prices. They usually have quality electronics at prices cheaper than the local competition, also. BJ’s is especially good for large families who don’t have time to look through grocery store ads and clip coupons. They can go get an entire case of, like, 24 boxes of cereal for a good price. One thing I like very much at BJ’s is their already cooked on a rotisserie chicken. It’s piping hot and in a plastic bag and ready to take home and eat. It’s also very easy to refridgerate and heat up later. A THREE pound Pudue chicken is $5. At most grocery stores in my area, a TWO pound chicken is $8 or even $9. BJ’s is a no frills place. You get no bags at the checkout register. You take stuff out of your cart, scan it, and put it back in your cart. They have cardboard boxes in a bin if you’d like to pick some out. What I don’t like about BJ’s is they have some kind of “policy” at the door as you are leaving. An employee will look at your receipt and compare what’s on the receipt to what you have in your cart. Their kindly excuse for this “strip search” is so that they can kindly remind you if you forgot to scan something. They might as well have a sign that says “STOP! We think you are a thief and you are going to have to prove otherwise before you leave.” I find it demeaning and insulting. All of that to tell you that I went to BJ’S the other day and it took me all of three minutes to get my chicken, scan it and get my receipt and get to the door to find that there were 5 carts in line ahead of me. Each cart had about 20 to 40 items and there was one employee doing the “cavity searches.” I didn’t sign up for this. I walked right around everyone and held out my receipt and told him I have a chicken. He punched my receipt but, as he did, another employee who was just standing there, and who’s job it was to see membership cards as customers came into the store, said to me, “There’s a line, sir.” I just gave her my “look.” The look that says “Lady, you’ll be making snowballs in Hell before I wait in that line.” Best Buy does that same routine, even though they give bags and receipts there. I just walk around those lines, too. What the hell ?
4. How did we ever get every county in the ENTIRE World to agree that, every 4 years, there would be an extra day in the year and it would be February 29th. We can’t get them to agree on anything else. In what is, I guess, a selfish question, why did the powers decide that the extra day would be in, what is for me, frigid February instead of magnificent May ?
5. Back to the NBA for a moment. Larry Bird of the Boston Celtics in the 1980s was the best pure shooter of the basketball that I’ve ever seen. That statement was true until Steph Curry of the Golden State Warriors came along recently. Steph is the reigning MVP of the league and he set a new record of 276 three-point shots made last year. He has already surpassed that mark this year and he still has 25 games to play. He averages 5 three-pointers made per game. He makes 47 % of the 3-pointers that he atempts. It’s conceivable that he could reach 400 three-pointers made this season. Also, Golden State has been so far ahead that Curry has not played in 16 of his team’s 4th quarters. That’s 4 full games worth of three-pointers. This guy can flat-out “shoot the lights out.” He’s REALLY fun to watch !
6. There is a guy who is the weatherman on one of our local ABC, CBS, or NBC stations. He’s well into middle age and he wears a bow tie and his name is Glen “Hurricane” Schwartz. He’s not on all the time. Maybe he only does the daytime news. In case no one else has noticed, every major station in the United States is using GORGEOUS young women to forecast the weather. Most of my male friends can tell you their names. It’s probably just a coincidence.
7. I like to watch the Bill O’Reilly show on Fox News network. I know. I don’t care. I like it. Similar to thought number 6 above, Bill used to make some talking point and then have a couple of people on to debate that point. It used to be old guys in suits that seemed to know something about what they were talking about. Sometimes, it still is an old guy or two, but WAY more often the debaters are now UNBELIEVABLY great-looking women with legal degrees or PHDs in something or other. It’s probably just another co-incidence.
8. Some weeks ago, Glenn Frey of the music group “The Eagles” passed away. I’m making a new rule in his memory. If you are in your car, by yourself, and the Eagle’s song “Take it Easy” comes on the radio, you must sing along. If you reach your destination and the song is still on, you have to sit in your car and listen until the end. For some reason, the lyric “We may lose and we may win, but we will never be here again” brings tears to my eyes. Rest in peace, Mr. Frey.
That’s all I have for now. As always, thanks for reading. Please feel free to return to your normally scheduled lives.


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