Random Thoughts, Volume 25

Lions

Random Thoughts, Volume 25

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1. I bought a box of Junior Mints candy about a week ago. I put them in the refrigerator because I like them cold. Yesterday, I took a handful and, as soon as I put the first one in my mouth, I immediately flashed on Kramer saying “They are REALLY very refreshing, Jerry.”

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2. In my last story, there was an item about my accidentally discovering the meaning of the word “cooter.” I was watching an episode of “Orange is the New Black” a couple of days ago. If you don’t know what that is, you’ll have to Google it. One of the inmates said some words about one of the other inmates repeatedly rubbing something on her “cooter.” I’m proud to report that I understood it. The benefits of a well rounded education cannot be overstated.

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3. I applied for social security retirement benefits a few days ago. This seems highly unlikely since, it seems to me, I was playing little league baseball about 20 years ago and my kids were born about 10 years ago. If you are young and reading this, please heed my advice and don’t waste time. It has a way of slipping by incredibly fast. If you are older and reading this, you already know what I’m talking about.

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4. I hope all of you extrememist, terrorist members of ISIS and all of your supporters burn in Hell for all of eternity, you cowardly mother-fuckers. That was a random thought that popped into my head. I don’t apologize for it.

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5. The best music was made in the 70s. You can look it up. Actually, you can’t look it up but it’s true. Trust me.

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6. I don’t make this stuff up, The Detroit Lions are a team that plays in the National Football League. Their offensive coordinator has the unfortunate name of Jim Bob Cooter.

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7. I renewed my company subsidized retiree health benfits a couple of days ago. I get to pay only $73 more per month for the same coverage in 2016. Wait…did I say the same coverage? My deductible actually went from $2750 to $3000. If there is a bigger racketeering organization than the health insurance companies in America, I’m quite sure that I don’t know about it.

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8. Just for fun, I was watching the movie, “Pulp Fiction”, for, like, the 11th time the other night. Side thought….if you haven’t seen this movie, there are lots of phrases in the English language that are just going over your head….you need to see it. There is a scene where John Travolta takes Uma Thurman out to dinner at a 1950s style restaurant. The waiter is made up to look like Buddy Holly. This 11th viewing of mine is the first time that I noticed that the waiter is played by actor Steve Buscemi. Steve was not an unknown at the time. He had a large part in Quentin Tarantino’s previous, and excellent, movie entitled “Reservoir Dogs.” The only reason I noticed it was the voice. Voices are like snowflakes. No two are alike. With work, one can make their voice sound like someone else’s voice but it’s not easy. It’s hard for me to believe that it got past me 10 times.

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9. I’ve been thinking about buying a pistol. I’m not kidding.

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That’s all I’ve got for now. As always, thanks for reading. Please feel free to return to your normally scheduled lives.

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