Random Thoughts Volume 20


Random_Thoughts_Volume _20
1. The Major League Baseball season is over. My beloved Philadelphia Phillies did NOT lose 100 games. They only lost 99. They were the worst in baseball….but only by one game. The Cincinnati Reds lost 98. Man, I KNOW we could have picked up 2 games SOMEWHERE in that long season. The upside is that I think we get the top draft pick.
2. The Chicago Cubs are in the Wildcard game. After paying 162 games , it comes down to this. The Cubs will play Pittsburgh at 8 PM on Wednesday, 10/7. The winner goes to the playoffs. The loser goes home. It just seems to me, after 162 games that started in the cold of early April, and stretched through the heat of July and August and the chilly nights in late September and early October, maybe a best-of-three would be more fair. It will definitely be exciting. I gotta root for the Cubs. It’s been 106 years since they won the World Series.
3. Please bear with me for one last baseball item. On the last day of the regular season, the Texas Rangers needed a win to clinch their division title and avoid a wild-card game. Our old buddy and ex-Phillie, Cole Hamels threw a complete game 3-hitter, striking out 8 opponents in a 9 – 2 Texas victory. I couldn’t be happier for Cole. He’s a pro’s pro and a class guy. I hope he does well in the post-season.
4. We had another school shooting in the United States. This time, it was in the state of Oregon. I watched the news last night. They said the name of the shooter and showed his picture. They did not mention the names, or show the pictures, of any of the victims. It’s time. I’m calling upon the media to stop publishing the names and pictures of the shooters. Just say “A deranged individual shot up a school and x number of people died and z number of people were wounded. The family of the shooter (without naming them) is very apologetic and asks for the prayers of the nation for the victims.” That’s it. I think, and a lot of psychiatrists would agree with me, I’m sure, that a lot of these shooters are people who feel insignificant and ignored by society. In their twisted minds, they tell themselves, “My name will be known if I commit this heinous act.” The media has a duty to report the news event. I don’t believe that they have a DUTY to publish the name of the shooter which, by default, accomplishes what the shooter wanted….to be noticed. It’s worth a try, in my humble opinion.
5. I got behind a driver that stopped in an exceleration lane. I layed on my horn because this is one of my pet peeves. There is a technique to accelerating and blending into the traffic that 99.98% of us know how to do. Getting behind a driver that stops in an accceleration lane puts YOU in danger because the car behind you expects that you are moving. In any event, I stayed behind the driver for a good half-mile. When I finally passed, the 50 year old woman driver gave me the finger. This is the 2nd 50 year old woman that has done this in the past month. What is going on in the U.S. ? What is wrong with that woman? Just suppose that I was one of those deranged psychos with a gun that would have followed her and shot her. C’mon folks…stop the madness. Oh, and learn to drive.
6. While we are talking about driving, I was in the left lane and the car in front of me was in the right lane with the left turn signal on. I slowed down and waited for the car to change lanes. After awhile, it became apparent that the driver was not going to change lanes. They were just driving with their left turn signal on. So,in order to try and TELL the driver, I sped up, put my LEFT turn signal on and moved into the RIGHT lane. Then I turned my signal off. Then I turned my LEFT signal on again and, after awhile, I turned it off again. I did this about 4 or 5 times in the next mile and the guy behind me continued to drive with his turn signal on. He finally, get this, moved into the exit lane on his RIGHT with his LEFT turn signal on. Folks, I’m just trying to help. If someone does something as bizarre as I was doing, check your turn signals.
7. My one buddy tells me that he visited Costco which is a discount store where you buy in bulk like Sam’s Club or BJ’s. He claims, that on October 3rd, they had a whole isle loaded with Christmas decorations. He claims that it is the earliest that he has ever seen it. At least they didn’t have the store decorated for Christmas yet. Decorum says that you have to wait until at least October 15 for that…..you know….two weeks before Halloween.
8. So I’m listening to the radio and, I didn’t catch what city, but the disc jockey says that there is going to be a “Walk for Alzheimer’s.” I immediately wondered how many people, diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, had planned to participate but couldn’t remember where to go.        (wait)   I apologize to everyone that I just offended. Hey, look, my place in Hell is already reserved. It’s not like that little item is gonna tip the scales.
9. Let’s talk about bar etiquette for a minute. If you are in a bar and you are hollering across the bar having an extended conversation with your buddy, you are pretty much annoying everyone else at the bar. Please….one of you re-locate to be next to each other or just move to some middle ground or outside for a minute and give the rest of us a break. Thanks for your consideration.
10. Here’s a bar story for you. So I’m sitting with my buddy at the bar and it’s loud. We’ve been there a while so I’m feeling pretty mellow. I’m in the seat at one of the corners at the square bar. A beautiful young girl, maybe 25, comes and stands right to my right. She has her back semi-turned to me because she is trying to get the bartender’s attention. She has on a kind of a semi off-the-shoulder shirt. I look at my buddy and say, quietly, “How much?”
Buddy: “Ten bucks”
Me: “What-ta I gotta do?”
Buddy: “Kiss her neck”
Me: “Are you nuts !! ??? That would cost you a hundred. What else you got?”
Buddy: “Rub her back”
The girl turns to me and says “Go ahead. I’ll split it with you.”
We all laugh. We shake on it and I rub her back. My buddy comes up with two fives…one for her, one for me. She smiles, says thanks, and disappears. I don’t make this stuff up.
That’s all I’ve got for now. As always, thanks for reading.


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